Advices to Everyone

To Patient
In the responses, you analyze the article closely. Adding much more of your own opinion will make it better. Many sentences can be combined into a larger paragraph and should be written as concise as possible. Moreover, do not write the summary and response separately and notice the sentence coherence.

To Dimitri
In the first paragraph, there is a coherent problem before talk about the affection of computer. In addition, the second sentence in the second paragraph is a run-on sentence. That is too long and may let readers feel confused about your topic. But it is good to share your own learning experience with the readers.

To Sophia
I suggest you to summarize the original article with your own words. It is better not to quote too much from the primary one. In the third paragraph, it is improper to use on the other hand as the transitional word. It is because that the process to compose the argumentation and normal articles is the same. Their connections are not opponent.

To Ocean
Remember to make your works written in several paragraph next time. In your article, there are some run-on sentences. Please try to think about their connection and make proper adjustment. Moreover, all things you are talking about are the original article. Perhaps you can write some of your person idea.

To Candy
Some of your sentences are weird. Be aware of the structure of every sentence and each sentence only has one subject and verb. In the second paragraph, you transit the topic too fast from mentioning the vitality of sharing opinions with classmates to how useful the blog is. To describe more connections between them will make the article more fluent and persuasive.

To Beverly
I have noticed that there are some grammatical problems in your composition. Maybe you can reexamine and correct them. The last two sentences in the last paragraph are weird. It seems that they do not have too much connection with the last paragraph. What does that mean to make our article more beautiful? Please use more accounts to describe their relationship.

To Claire
In your composition, you mention “I think” for several times. This is already your works and you can talk what ever you think about the article. Therefore, there is no need to write that. Besides, you write quite well. There is not too much problem in your essay.

To Joyce
I think the problems you have in this article are basic ones. You use words in a wrong way. Maybe you can consult the dictionary about the corrective use of these words. Then, you will know better whether the word is a noun or verb and which preposition you should use in sentences.

To Elsa
You need some transitional words between the third and fourth paragraph and you do not mention the in-class discussion with classmates in your summary. You talk more about computer in the last three paragraphs. Listing some reasons why you think this is more important that other ways will help readers know why you focus on that issue.

To Vivi
Your summary of the original article is good. In the third paragraph, you share your experience with the readers. But, you almost use “I” as the subject of every sentence. Try to use different structures to write the sentences and compose your article will make it become better work.

To Roxy
I advise you to write the composition and summary in your own words because that you quote many sentences from the original article. In addition, you can try to rearrange the topics that you mention in each paragraph because it is not coherent.